Monthly Archives: April 2016

Anti nausea pills. Finally!

I couldn’t take it anymore and my nurse was pushing me to get hospitalised again and be put on drips.

And I was like ‘you haven’t even tried giving me medication first! ‘.

We saw a gp at the 24 hours clinic and I have been given anti nausea pills, liquid antacid and another medication to neutralise the acid in my stomach.

I hope this provides some relief.  I’m also worried about a uti as I haven’t been drinking enough water because of the nausea. 

In fact I don’t know if what I feel is just gas pains.  Been really gassy as well and burping and throwing up well.. gas or air. Lol. 

I need to start counting down to another 4 wks before the pio shots and the nausea can END.

I was actually happy this morning that I felt fine and then was wondering if it was a bad sign.  Imagine my horror when it all became worse in the afternoon.  One more time I feel unhappy about a lack of nausea I’m gonna give myself a good slap.

And yes. From what I’ve read you can be a 100% pregnant and not have any nausea or morning sickness at all. 

I’m praying the medications will work.  And I need to force water down my body. 

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Hmmm

It was really sad to read another blogger’s (Erin) post on her unsuccessful ivf attempts.  Really heartbreaking.

It is really so tough on her.  Unbelievably tough. 

I am trying my level best to appreciate the morning sickness and the pregnancy. I noticed that now the nausea worsens horribly in the afternoon till evening and the hunger pangs have decreased in frequency. I have been able to sleep without having those hunger pangs for the past few nights. 

I was rolling in bed in discomfort and misery just a few hours ago. Managed to stuff half a lunch in and am resting with my head propped up.  All the vomiting is hurting my stomach as well. And I throw up the nasty bile which comes from deep down the stomach and burns my throat.

I wonder if the baby is affected by all this ‘action’.

Gonna ask my doctor for those anti-nausea pills. Because at this rate I think I might just pass out.

I thought the whole ivf process was bad.  But this seems to be much worse.

But hey.  No pain no gain, yea?

When is the right time?

So today a good Friend who got pregnant about 2 weeks earlier than me, called me to update me on her due date. She conceived with no planning – it was unexpected but welcomed. I’ve written about her before I believe. And I still can’t help but feel annoyed. I don’t want to feel this way really. But I can’t seem to shake it off.

Just because I had to go through ivf and crap doesn’t make me more entitled to a pregnancy or baby than a person who has conceived naturally.

But I can’t seem to get that to sink in into my head.

I Guess it’s a deep rooted feeling of insecurity. Insecurity about whether the pregnancy will develop healthily or as well as her natural pregnancy.

She said she was only going to tell more of her family members about her pregnancy today after she had gotten a confirmed due date. But I had told my mom about it earlier and when I told her that, she was a little disappointed. That got me annoyed as well. Like hello, she’s MY MOM.

And I told her that there is actually no right time.

I had a colleague whose baby’s heartbeat stopped beating a month or two shy of her delivery date. And she had to give birth to a stillborn. So when was the right time to have told others about the pregnancy?

And there are many people who do not post any announcements or photos on social media when they are pregnant here. The only time they reveal that they actually had been pregnant is after the baby had been successfully delivered. They really go all out to ‘protect’ the pregnancy by keeping all info hush. And it made me feel like I wasn’t supposed to know cos if I did know I might be responsible for jinxing the whole thing or something.

And then there are some who go all out to announce everything on social media, to the whole entire world. So much so that I feel that it is a constant invasion of my space as well with the persistent and detailed updates.

I Guess there is no way we can ever be sure, can we? There is just no way we can ever truly be in control or protect it forever.

I have chosen to be completely hush on social media – I am not the sort to go public about personal things anyway. But I’ve been open with close friends and colleagues whom I know genuinely care and are concerned for me.

I’m just gonna take a step or a scan at a time for reassurance. And I’ve to let go of the worrying and fears. I guess I can only pray that everything goes well and be occupied with managing these crazy pregnancy symptoms.

I just wish I was not sick all the time though. It’s really utterly miserable. Ughhh.

Did I just…

Say that my hunger pangs battle seemed to be ceasing?

I’m so darn wrong.  They are back. And I just ordered a hotcakes meal to appease them.

It is impossible to sleep through these hunger pangs.  They just seem to gnaw my gut out. 

I need food. I so so so need food. Now.

Rambling away..

I don’t understand why some people get so damn defensive about everything. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing. There is a difference between getting all emotionally charged up and defensive and attacking others with a different viewpoint as opposed to listening with an open mind. What has worked for others might just work for you! Why not give it a a chance? Isn’t it worth it? And ultimately, the decisions are all yours. No one is going to force their opinion down your throat and make you do it. Really stupid. There is really NO NEED to go around telling people YOUCANTMAKEMEDOTHIS because the truth is they have better things to do than to force you to do things their way.

Okay that’s just me rambling about some unrelated nonsense. I’m just really amused at the lengths people go to to convince THEMSELVES that they are indeed doing the right things and it really sounds like they are trying to convince others on the validity of their opinions or decisions too. If you truly believe that what you are doing is right then why go to such extents? Perhaps it is because you don’t want to regret not doing what you could have done?

The best part is, they talk like they are the only ones in the world who have made sacrifices. There are SO MANY who are suffering silently while making similar or more sacrifices.

Well we can’t have the best of both worlds so we should try to strike some kind of balance or just make things work isn’t it? That’s the challenge isn’t it?

So here I am. Battling nausea and hunger pangs or gastric. It got so bad the past few days that I was contemplating a Doctor’s visit to get some relief. Then my doc said I could take the antacid that I still had in my fridge. That seemed to bring some relief to the hunger pangs and I was able to Sleep through the night.

I dare say that the hunger pangs might be decreasing. I don’t know if I’ve said that too soon. But I think sleeping with my head propped up on two pillow helps. It’s uncomfortable but seems to keep the stomach cramps away.

Nausea, unfortunately remains the same. I’m suffering from constipation too. Pfft. So yep. More work to resolve these problems! Yay.

And then when the symptoms seem to get better, I end up worrying about the growth of the baby. I can’t imagine child birth either. Yikes. But I’ll be having a cesarean for sure as I’ve a long cut for a fibroid surgery before. And I don’t think I can get through normal delivery.

It just never ends isn’t it?

I’ve just been sleeping most of the time. I feel like I’m losing more energy. And I am doing pretty much… Nothing. But sleep keeps the nausea at bay. To some extent I think. I feel nauseous in my sleep too. Ughhh.

Can’t wait to see some positive results from more people! I used to read both the positive and negative outcomes all the same (now as well). Helped me prepare for what might come my way or what had come my way actually. 🙂 the negative stories reminded me that I wasn’t alone and the positive ones gave me hope and determination.

It was from these blogs that I learnt about PGS. The genetic testing of the embryos? But it isn’t done here and gender selection is strictly not allowed in my country either – which I think is a good idea. They just go by the quality of the embryos and are very particular about choosing good quality embryos. I don’t know if that’s enough but that’s about all the choice I had anyway.

Okay time to have a nap before my stomach growls in hunger.