Monthly Archives: March 2016

The mighty digital…

Said 2-3 weeks PREGNANT! Like wow! I’ve NEVER seen any of those words on a digital the past 5 years before!!!

Today it is 8dp5dt. So the embryo is 13 days old. Really cool stuff!

I still have some pinching or cramping sensations on my left mostly but not as bad as before.

I have 1 more digital and had actually ordered a cheaper digital pack online because I had anticipated negative results. My Husband wants to look at line results instead. Lol. I Guess he’s more used to reading lines. So I think he will get me line tests to try.

So yep! 3 more days to the blood test!

All this is so SO new to me that I can’t believe this much has happened! Like, I’m still in disbelief! I mean, my first try at all things conception had always failed.

So now I think the next things to worry about are where the embryo had implanted (hopefully at a favourable place) and sustaining the growth of the pregnancy.

😊😊😊

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Another faint Bfp

Yesh. I had to finish peeing on whatever sticks I had waiting for me so I took my final line stick this morning, which is a clearblue plus.

This was the same brand I took the first time I saw the Bfp. Today’s Bfp came up in seconds as well. The vertical line was blue and of the same thickness as the control line though still faint. This test just doesn’t show lines as clearly as the pink dye tests. I’ve tried both. Or maybe my HCG levels aren’t high enough or something.

I mean it has to be HCG that it is picking up right? Lol.

Tomorrow I think I will whip out the all mighty digital. The ones that have shown me ‘NOT pregnant’ several times before and discouraged me from using them again as they made me feel incredibly stupid and disappointed.

I am mentally prepared, nonetheless, to receive the same words again. I don’t know if whatever the HCG that might be in my body is sufficient to give a positive digital result.

I can’t wait for Monday’s blood test although I am terrified of needles. 4 more days to go!

Hmmm.

Well today a close Friend of mine told me that she was pregnant and it wasn’t planned and that she is quite stunned by the news. She has other issues to settle and it wasn’t quite a conducive time to have a baby yet for her but now that she is preggers she will have to give this priority.

And I couldn’t help but wonder about how people like us have to fork out thousands of dollars and go through so much pain, anxiety, needles and medications before we can have any kind of news, if at all that is.

I did tell her that I seem to have a Bfp but that it is not the same as hers. It is just not the same, really. I just feel that through ivf, we are more vulnerable, we have to be more careful a about everything and I just can’t allow myself to be happy too soon. I don’t even know if this will work. So yea. I don’t know why but I felt a little down despite wanting to feel happy for her. But then again she said she was more stressed about it and didn’t expect it – I didn’t feel that she was too thrilled about it. 😕 BUT, I can imagine how this must be added stress to her existing problems. She isn’t even curious to check her beta or anything and just wants to postpone tests to the 8th week.

Sigh. And here we are. Trying to have children for years. And put ourselves through so much. Make so many sacrifices.

It just doesn’t add up doesn’t it?

Oh well. I think dealing with fertility issues can easily be the most challenging problem in anyone’s life.

Today I had a lot of poking pains on the left side of my uterus. Now the frequency has lessened a little but I can still feel the twinges. Usually I don’t quite notice stuff like this but this one is quite noticeable. I don’t wish to know if that is something bad or good either.

I am intending to use up my final line clearblue hpt tomorrow to see if I can still detect a second line. And then Thursday I will take a digital. And one more digital on Sunday before I go for my blood test on Monday.

Gonna turn in now! 🙂

A Bfp?

Before I do this post, I would like to send some support and well wishes to those who are awaiting their Bfp results soon. Do hang in there and my personal “advice” would be to be as factual and scientific about it as possible.

Hmmm. As for me, I am still extremely unsure and more worried actually. I’ve been so used to disappointment and predicting a negative result so accurately that I can’t quite believe seeing 2 lines on tests.

So yesterday was 5dp5dt. I took a Clearblue test (not a digital) in the morning at about 11am. I had woken up to pee at 6am unfortunately as I couldn’t hold it in. Then had breakfast and Milo to drink before testing at 11am. And I saw the first ever second line appearing within seconds on the Clearblue! This is the test that gives you a plus sign if positive. It was faint but the vertical line was blue and of the same thickness as the control line.

I quickly snapped photos of it and sent them to my Husband and he was stunned too. I had some errands to run yesterday (like I could get out finally) and bought a whole bunch of tests of different brands and also 2 Clearblue digitals.

Then I tested again in the evening with a pink dye test and it was positive in seconds too! The second line was pink in Colour though faint. My Husband, being a scientist and having done many tests like this at work (not for pregnancy but for certain genes etc.) was able to confirm that it is a line!

And then at night it was time for the PIO shot at the hospital and I knew there was no escape. If I was really indeed pregnant- that really sounds weird by the way – then I had to have the shot. The shot was done with the help of dearest Emla and I didn’t feel a thing. In fact it seemed better than the first time.

And today morning, I woke up having to pee and took another brand of test to use. And the line was a little clearer than yesterday and it appears to really indicate a Bfp. Meanwhile the test I had used last night looked much much stronger today.

Since the PIO shot last night, all my horrid cramps at the hip bones and lower back had stopped quite abruptly. I was able to sleep properly last night.

So my mom knows about this besides my hubby. But everyone’s reactions, including mine, have been quite muted. We were just more cautious about what I ate or how I sat or how I used the laptop etc. Lol.

I guess it will only only be real once the doc confirms this via ultrasound or something. I am doubtful even of a blood test (ectopic etc *touchwood*).

I am still in disbelief. It is very tough to digest or accept this information. We were still wondering if any of the medications had anything to do with this. Haha. But we didn’t have any HCG injections for the entire ivf cycle at all.

My blood test will be next week Monday. 6 more days to go. I think I might use one of the digitals tomorrow or the next day and one before I go for the blood test.

This is a first in 5 years. 😊

PIO shots..

I don’t know how people can do these horrid shots themselves or at home with the help of their husbands EVERY day.

I could faint at the mere sight of the needle! 😭

I know I should be grateful that I only have these once a week at the hospital which is administered by a nurse. But I am still terrified. I have my next dose tomorrow and here I am worrying about it a good 36 hours earlier.

I’ve been aching all over. I hate it. It is really uncomfortable and difficult to sleep. I don’t know if it because of sleeping and laying down too much or having foods that cause wind? Lower back and hips are aching as well. It is almost like I’m down with a flu. I don’t know how I am going to handle the PIO shot tomorrow. I am sure that is going to add to the misery.

I want to do a test but I am not sure when. It’ll be 4 days after the transfer today. Perhaps tomorrow?

😬